There is a special place in hell for these cock-gobblers. Sure, go ahead, leave your filthy, crusty, sneeze-covered dishes in the public sink. Some poor sap will do them, eventually. You are much too important to do your own. Fucking pigs. Swine, all of you. Probably the same mutherfuckers bitching about people on welfare, bailouts, and labor unions. There are a couple of people in the office who take it upon themselves to do what others feel beneath them. Good deed aside, I wish to hell they wouldn’t. Rather they should allow the funky dishes to pile to the ceiling and breed mold, mildew, roaches and Mormons. Until it becomes so bad that we ferret out these low life pieces of shit and administer a little street justice. The first perp who gets caught is stripped down to their skivvies, has trash dumped on their head, stands on a desk while people circle all their fat with a black marker, then made to get on all fours and “walked” around the office on a leash. After this throw the person head first through the giant glass window in the center of the office where it is a 10-story fall into a glass-ceilinged atrium. Maybe they live, maybe they don’t? But guess what? I guarangoddamntee you no one else leaves their dirty fucking dishes in the sink. I firmly believe that in order to make an omelette, you have to crack a few eggs. This isn’t about mere dirty dishes festering in a sink. It is about much more, the decay of a society as a whole. You let people leave their dirty dishes in the sink at their leisure and what next, gang rape in the coat closet? It is a slippery, slippery slope my friends. Speaking of the coat closet, some asshat leaves a filthy, sweat-soaked sweatshirt they wear as some sort of base layer when biking in every morning, in said closet all day which stinks up all the other garments. It is that pungent, all-encompassing smell of sweat which has dried and then been re-sweated many times. Exactly like a vagrant smells in August when they hit peak ripeness. Were these people raised by wolves? Chicago is positively blowing the rest of the country away in murders, so why can’t these people be cleansed as well? In my opinion leaving dirty dishes in the sink and stenching up the coat closet are on par with, if not worse than, trying to muscle someone out of their heroin-selling block, no? I don’t care to live in a world where people are free to leave their dirty dishes in my office kitchen with impunity. Probably don’t flush the toilet after they take a dump either. Actually, don’t even get me started on the bathroom. Fuckin’ Wild West in there. If an industrial toilet rejects your offering, it is high time to review your diet, bandejo.