You have no idea what a stone-cold badass I’m going to be for Halloween tonight. No fucking clue. Okay, here is a clue: I’m going to be a gnarley-assed Werewolf. Stick-up ears, fangs, giant claws, the whole nine. You encounter Scout on the street tonight, you get your shit chomped. Bottom line. You see Scout coming looking straight up sinister with blood dripping off his Werewolf fangs, you’d better either be faster than Scout (Yeah right) or have a whole pocket full of silver fucking bullets. If not, peace out bitch. The Scoutmeister is taking no prisoners, and offering no quarter. You try and hand Scout a fucking apple or some beat-ass stale Charleston Chew when he comes knocking, you are losing your arm. No exceptions. Consider this your warning. Mom and Dad had better not even fucking DREAM of making me anything other than a Werewolf. Like if I see them pulling some stupid hot dog, or pussy-assed pumpkin costume out of the closet tonight, I will go real-deal Werewolf berzerker and just start biting everyone in site. Believe that shit. I’ve been telling everyone at the dog park that I am bringing the noise as a Werewolf, all month. If Mom and Dad make me look stupid there will be severe hell to pay.
OMG I am so fired up for tonight I can hardly fucking wait. All the other Halloween Werewolves will probably make me their leader and we’ll go on this super-awesome Werewolf rampage through the streets of Old Town and Lincoln Park just laying waste to mutherfuckers. Scout out front of the Werewolf pack biting here, claw-swatting people’s heads clean off there. Gonna be the most kick-ass Halloween ever.