Tag Archives: scout

The Scout Chronicles: They’re Gonna Kill Scout, Aren’t They?

Been a long time amigos, how’s shit? As always, the Ol’ Scouter abides. I wish I could tell you “same shit, different day”, but unfortunately same shit no longer applies at Scoutmeister headquarters. Shit’s gettin’ weird, and at an accelerating rate. … Continue reading

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GOOD NEWS!

Um, no.  Actually no fucking good news at all.  To be honest, what I got doesn’t even qualify as “news” in any way, shape or form.  I was taking Scout out for his morning dump today when we were approached … Continue reading

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The Scout Chronicles: We Gonna Drink Bacardi Like its Scout’s Birthday….

You see that picture over there to the right???  That is going to be Scout all day tomorrow baby.  So don’t fuck with me on Saturday.  The Scoutmeister is going to be hungover, probably as bad–if not worse–than “The Hangover”.  … Continue reading

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The Scout Chronicles: Someone Fucking Take me Outside Now

This is the bullshit of all bullshits!  It is snowing like a goddamned son-of-a-bitch outside.  And what is Scout doing?  Sitting in this fucking condo with two infants and the chick who is in charge of wiping their asses all … Continue reading

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Unacceptable Typo; Buckeye Sticker for Peter H’s Helmet Today

Anyone who went to college with me knows that I do not fucking tolerate grammatical errors and typos.  I may tolerate my own GPA falling off a cliff from freshman to 2nd senior year.  I mean if you saw it on … Continue reading

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The Scout Chronicles: How Stupid are Babies?

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The Scout Chronicles: Shit Got REAL on Christmas Morning

Scout LOVES Christmas.  I need to get that right out there in the open.  Fires, trees to piss on, decorations to chew up, drunk humans dropping food out of their fat fucking mouths all day long, Grandma gets me bomb-ass … Continue reading

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The Scout Chronicles: Nope, They Made Me a Fuckin’ Wizard

This was the bullshit of all bullshits.  I told these assholes I wanted to be a vicious Werewolf for Halloween.  And instead I get dolled up like some girly Gandolph.  I didn’t even get a fuckin’ staff to hit people … Continue reading

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The Scout Chronicles: Scout is Going to be so Badass for Halloween

You have no idea what a stone-cold badass I’m going to be for Halloween tonight.  No fucking clue.  Okay, here is a clue: I’m going to be a gnarley-assed Werewolf.  Stick-up ears, fangs, giant claws, the whole nine.  You encounter … Continue reading

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The Scout Chronicles: I Prefer to Shit on Grass

Or perhaps on some mulch.  Preferably fresh mulch with that heavy forest scent that I love.  I just like the way the dump sounds when it hits the earth.  I don’t like the way my dump sounds when it lands … Continue reading

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