Tag Archives: god

GOOD NEWS!

Um, no.  Actually no fucking good news at all.  To be honest, what I got doesn’t even qualify as “news” in any way, shape or form.  I was taking Scout out for his morning dump today when we were approached … Continue reading

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What Sucks Now Uber Alles!!!!! (Suck it, Komen)

In case you aren’t multilingual like me (The extent of my German is basicaly “Ich sprechen ein bisschen Deutsche”, which means I speak a little German.  But joke is on you, Nazi, because that is the only sentence I know), … Continue reading

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It Was God’s Plan for Me to get Fucked Up on Christmas Eve Eve

I bear absolutely no responsibility for my raging hangover on Christmas Eve.  If you were offended by it, then talk to the big guy upstairs.  “Why would you want to be hungover and borderline ill for your daughter’s first Christmas … Continue reading

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Well New York, I Guess You can Add God to the Long List of People You’ve Pissed Off

You Godless, liberal, morons. You’re basically France at this point. Some of the only people in the world who still liked you were Jesus and God. And you done gone and fucked that up too. Lettin’ dudes marry dudes and … Continue reading

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Tonight We Gonna Rapture Like Its 1999!!!

Tomorrow night, 18:00 EST (and you have to love not only that the bible can predict the rapture’s exact date, but it is time-zone specific as well, centered on a time zone that at the time of bible writing, no … Continue reading

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Save the Date: May 21st, 2011

Its a RAPTURE mutherfuckers!!! Jesus and God and the Apostles and Baby Jesus and Mary and Peter and Mother Theresa and Michael Jackson and all those hard-chargin‘ sons of bitches swooping down out of Heaven like a fucking shitstorm, zapping … Continue reading

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Why Aren’t I Selling Magic Beans to Fools?

It is just so easy. I rail against Joel Osteen’s “The Purpose Driven Life”, and his horse teeth. But he is winning, while I lose every day. I need someone, a great friend or a trusted relative, to talk me … Continue reading

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Could Everyone Quit Fucking “Checking In” Already

The Internet giveth, and the Internet taketh away. We as humans cannot blame the Creator for the sharks or the influenza or the cockroaches or The View or any of the Kardashians. We can only praise him for the good … Continue reading

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Buffalo Bills Wideout Steve Johnson Finally Holds God Accountable

It is about son-of-a-bitch’n time someone finally held God accountable for a fuck-up. It is all praise for successes, all the time. But finally Steve Johnson showed some fucking balls and blamed the responsible party for dropping the game-winning touchdown … Continue reading

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Goose Island Bourbon County Stout is the Bombtrack

Your first sip of Goose Island’s seasonal release is like God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost all ascended from Cloudland and put their nuts directly in your mouth. Its that good….A tea-bagging from the Holy Trinity. At 13% ABV you … Continue reading

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