I actually want to throw up all over myself too for having run in two of these dickhole’s races in Chicago. I want my name removed from the historical data, this despite one of them being the best race I’ve ever run in my life. Due to pressure from completely right-wing hard-line religious wing nuts, Komen has pulled all funding from Planned Parenthood. For breast cancer screenings. Yes, you read that correctly. Susan G Komen doesn’t want PP screening women for breast cancer anymore, at least not on their dime. Are you fucking kidding me? It is barely complicated, but I’ll take even the barely out for you here. Group of marginally literate fucktards hijack the message in a 2,000 year old fiction novel with about 25 different authors writing off memory, many writing off memory of events they never even attended or were alive for. Being they can barely read themselves, and have such pitifully awful fucking useless tit lives, they decide to take their interpretation of this novel to extremes and put heat on people. Like these soulless pussies over at SGK. So SGK agrees to pull it’s $750K in funding to Planned Parenthood, because PP also does abortions. And in classic PUSSY fashion, they are claiming it is because of some meaningless investigation going on about something unrelated. Do you know who gets their breast cancer screenings done at PP? It ain’t Michelle Obama or Martha Fucking Stewart. Which is to say if you can easily afford to get your breast cancer screening done at Northwestern University Hospital or the Mayo Clinic or the Cleveland Clinic, etc, you don’t say, “Well, fuck it, Planned Parenthood is a little closer to my house, I’ll just have it done there”. So not only is Komen cowardly denying women preventative cancer screening, they are denying it to those most in need of affordability. Well played you sanctimonious twats. You have shitloads of credibility now. You know what is the most awesome part of this? Abortions are 3% of PP’s operation. Yes, 3% OF THEIR BUSINESS IS ABORTIONS. That is it. We aren’t talking about PP being the fucking McDonald’s of fetus sucks here. It is a small part of their extremely socially valuable operation. And you are going to punish them for it. Listen, I don’t even give a half of one shit anymore about the abortion argument. I just don’t care. Pro-life, Pro-choice, who is dead balls right and who is dead balls wrong? It doesn’t fucking matter. It is a gray area and no one will ever be 100% right or wrong. In actuality it is nothing more than a red herring thrown in front of people so they will get all red in the neck and miss the bigger picture issues that actually affect a lot of people. I won’t waste time with what side I’m on and why, because who gives a shit anyway? Kudos to you “charity”. This doesn’t mean poor women or really young women will stop having abortions. It just means they will have them done in black market type facilities, or Tijuana, and they will have a lot more deaths and infections and complications.
BREAKING NEWS (Reported by my wife): Komen has decided to reverse the decision to pull funding from PP! Guess what, it doesn’t change my opinion of your scumbag fucking organization, other than making me disrespect you even more. Now I just think you are even bigger pussies who do whatever you are told by public opinion, even if you don’t believe in it. Please don’t ever send me another request to participate in your shitheel race.
Also, how about Michael Bloomberg stepping up like a total fucking BOSS and pledging to fill some of the gap in funding left by the SGK void? BOOM Mike B! That is how it is done. Yeah, I know he only pledged $250K per year, which for him is like me losing a dime out of my wallet. But whatever. That is how a baller rolls.