Oh wait, its 90 fucking degrees every day. My dog, with his extraordinarily thick and curly coat, seems to be enjoying it. He looks like one of those African children you see on the commercials lying around listlessly. I’m constantly shooing flies from his eyeballs. If PETA happens by here this week, we’re fucking hating it.
If the air conditioning doesn’t work for a couple of weeks or a month, we’ll just die, right? Air conditioning has been around since before humans, so to go a while without it spells certain death I assume. This is the leading hypothesis for the Lost Colony of Roanoke in the late 1580′s: Their air conditioning broke down, and they died. If you see a news report about a couple in Chicago and their goldendoodle found dead of heatstroke, bodies already swelling from rapid decomposition in the extreme, air conditioning-less temperatures, pour a little of your 40oz on the curb for us, will you?
*UPDATE*: Maintenance guy on the roof right now checking it, talking shit about “We can’t do the electrical checks on this unit on the roof due to the pouring down rain and lightnight right now”. What the fuck is your death compared to my marginal comfort? This is the bullshit of all bullshits.