Thats right, one fat fucking asshole after another. The New Year’s Resolution shitheel crowd is officially upon us at the gym. I say it every year: If you rely upon a random day in the Roman calendar cycle to improve yourself, you’ve already failed. Please do everyone a favor and take your ample girth and lack of self-control back home and modify your New Year’s resolution to something that better synchs with your lack of will, like becoming the best Grand Theft Auto player in Chicago. The gym management loves you. You show up, pay for a year’s membership, put 4.5 weeks worth of wear and tear on the equipment, and then never show up again. You might be management’s wet dream, but you’re everyone else’s worst nightmare.