Category Archives: Uncategorized

I Just Don’t Care about Vaccines. Wanna Get Pissed About It; Unable

I probably should. As the father of one small child who is perilously close to becoming the father of two small children I should get fired the fuck up about this and shout down whoever is on the other side … Continue reading

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I Just Have a Head

There are moments in life-we all have them-when the veneer of denial that protects the delicate underbelly of who we truly are is stripped away, revealing the knotty, stained, and otherwise flawed reality which lies beneath. Often it is an … Continue reading

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Coffee or Vagrant Piss? You Make the Call!

As I made my way to the office this morning via the Shit Line (some know it as the Blue Line on the L, but there is nothing blue about it. it is brown, like shit. only shittier) I witnessed … Continue reading

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If You are Watching News Coverage of the Malaysian Plane Mystery, STOP!

That plane be gone, them folks be dead. End of chat. It is sad, it is tragic, and I feel butthurt for every family who lost someone on that plane. I wish I had the power to un-fuck that flight … Continue reading

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Looking for a Position as a “Fluffer” (Non-Porn)

I think I’ve found the perfect job for myself. The issue now becomes finding out whether it exists in the real world. I’ve been told since college by people in all walks of life; relatives, friends, old people, young people, … Continue reading

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Today’s Interesting Fact

While working out in my basement before the sun graced my part of the earth with it’s meager rays, I was playing the Rap station on Music Choice TV. I chose the basement over the gym given it is 1,000,000 … Continue reading

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Saturday Haiku

Winter is a whore Shaking it’s little behind Sex fades to cold clap

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If You are a Black Teenager in Florida, Just get the F–k Out

Florida: America’s dong. Sun, sand and white trash. Love the blacks that play for the football team of their choice, but don’t want them anywhere else. I am certainly not implying the black teenager has no right to live in … Continue reading

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I Feel You Will Have to Deal with this Matter in the Harshest Possible Way, Mr. Torrance

All cold and no sun makes Zach a dull boy. All cold and no sun makes Zach a dull boy. All cold and no sun makes Zach a dull boy. All cold and no sun makes Zach a dull boy. … Continue reading

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Did I Miss 25 Birthdays?

I’m suddenly and undeniably 60 years old and I haven’t the foggiest how it happened. My only working theory is that I somehow missed 25 birthdays. I’m falling the fuck apart. I was getting the eye of the tiger back, … Continue reading

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