I’ve been watching television ads lately and I have to say picking a candidate in this race is going to be tough. They both present such phenomenal ideas on how they will solve Illinois’s problems.
Alexi Giannoulias has, in my humble opinion, a great strategy for cleaning up corruption in Illinois, getting out of debt and becoming profitable again, and bringing Illinois back to respectability: Mark Kirk Fucking Sucks. There it is folks, all problems solved. Mark Kirk is a complete and utter turd, he spends like a drunken sailor at a Thai brothel, and he will without a doubt cram a giant black rubber cock into the unsuspecting asses of average Illinois citizens if you give him opportunity.
Mark Kirk has a different, but still compelling, message stating his plans to medicate and ultimately fix our great state: Alexi Giannoulias is a Fucking Asshole. I was barking up all the wrong trees such as fiscal responsibility, ending graft, increasing manufacturing, etc. I didn’t realize that all we might need is to point out what a fucking scumbag Alexi Giannoulias is. Kirk’s ads are quite clear. If we vote Alexi into office he is going to steal all your money in Ponzi schemes, let your chickens out of the barn, and steal off into the night with your daughters where he plans to annihilate their cherries in a most aggressive and unloving manner, only to return them the next day with his demon seed growing in their bellies.
I’ve stewed over this for weeks. Alexi Giannoulias is an asshole versus Mark Kirk sucks. Each plan has its merits and could ultimately save Illinois from collapse. These guys are both running a great campaign. Keep it simple and stick to the main points. In the end it will probably come down to which commercial I watch before leaving for the voting polls.