Monthly Archives: January 2014

I Am SHOCKED that Colorado Legalized Marijuana

And probably not for the reasons you’re thinking. What shocks me is that they had to spend money voting, and that it is even controversial to begin with. What a colossal waste of resources. A plant grows out of the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

For the Love of God, Stop Taking Quizzes Already

Everyone needs to grab their collective sacs, be a goddamned grown up, and stop taking these fucking Facebook quizzes to unearth which fictional character they’d most likely be if fake life became real life and somehow your real life of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I’m Improving at Being Married

I’m less than 5 years in on being married but feel I’ve reached a major milestone in the life long learning process involved with turning over your balls to a member of the fairer sex. The lesson? Just shut your … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Twelfth Day of Christmas

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me, the Polar Pig. Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. The. Pig’s. Way. I have no earthly clue why anyone is calling it the Polar Vortex when it could also … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment