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Monthly Archives: January 2012
The Scout Chronicles: We Gonna Drink Bacardi Like its Scout’s Birthday….
You see that picture over there to the right??? That is going to be Scout all day tomorrow baby. So don’t fuck with me on Saturday. The Scoutmeister is going to be hungover, probably as bad–if not worse–than “The Hangover”. … Continue reading
Iran, Please Shut the Fuck Up. Pretty Please
This Iran saber-rattling is going nowhere, fast. The end result is bad for all of us. But probably worse for you, Iran. You see, what the These Colors Don’t Run, Fox News segment of the American populace–which unfortunately is not … Continue reading
The Scout Chronicles: Someone Fucking Take me Outside Now
This is the bullshit of all bullshits! It is snowing like a goddamned son-of-a-bitch outside. And what is Scout doing? Sitting in this fucking condo with two infants and the chick who is in charge of wiping their asses all … Continue reading
Tagged chicago, scout
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Breaking News—FAIL
This morning I’m at the gym, dominating per usual. Finishing out on the Stair Climber, when I see a BOMBSHELL of a news story blow up on the screen, via Rob Elgas. Apparently in Oregon there is a massively obese … Continue reading
Tagged chicago, obesity
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Unacceptable Typo; Buckeye Sticker for Peter H’s Helmet Today
Anyone who went to college with me knows that I do not fucking tolerate grammatical errors and typos. I may tolerate my own GPA falling off a cliff from freshman to 2nd senior year. I mean if you saw it on … Continue reading
Tagged scout
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If You Practice Witchcraft, May Want to Cancel Your Trip to Saudi Arabia
Consider this a public service announcement for all the young ladies considering a nice relaxing vacation in Saudi Arabia. Leave your Necromancy books at home and do not make any public jokes which involve straddling a broom handle. Apparently the … Continue reading
Tagged capital punishment, politics, saudi arabia
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Good Morning Crack Head!
I can think of no better way, no better way in the world, to begin a beautiful, 20 degrees above normal, blue bird sky, January Saturday morning than a crack head serenade. Can you? Before the sun was up this … Continue reading
Tagged chicago, crack
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The Scout Chronicles: Shit Got REAL on Christmas Morning
Scout LOVES Christmas. I need to get that right out there in the open. Fires, trees to piss on, decorations to chew up, drunk humans dropping food out of their fat fucking mouths all day long, Grandma gets me bomb-ass … Continue reading
Tagged christmas, scout
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Get Your Head out of Your Ass Dude
I went for an espresso (Have become total Euro trash since 2010 vacation to Italy) at Intelligentsia today. I hated espresso my entire life. Just the foulest, most bitter shit. And then finally 1.5 years ago I actually tried it … Continue reading