Monthly Archives: August 2011

Dear Obama: What the World Needs Now is a GANGSTER

Barack, this is fucking serious.  This is 4th and 19, down 6, with 37 seconds to go in the Super Bowl.  You have before you a unique moment in world history, and you are the quarterback of the best team.  … Continue reading

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We’re Taking this Pig Global

That’s right bitches, What Sucks Now is headed over to the World Wide Web (located in a bunker somewhere on Al Gore’s property) in the very near future.  Only problem, some dick hole already owns www.whatsucksnow.com.  And yes I could … Continue reading

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Come on Irene, I Swear (Well He Means) At This Moment You Mean Everything

Ahhhhh, run, fuck, hide, shit, Irene’s coming!!!  Hahahaha.  You know who isn’t scared?  North Cacalaca, that’s who.  You see Andrew Jackson blinking over there?  Fuck no.  One of North Carolina’s all time badasses is probably going to watch this hurricane blow through while … Continue reading

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Hey, Thanks for the Ciggy Hit Fucko!

Walking to work this morning from the bus drop off.  Feeling pretty, pretty, pretty fucking sprightly this morning if I do say so myself.  For maybe the 5th time since her glorious birth, my daughter awoke only once in the … Continue reading

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The Scout Chronicles: I Prefer to Shit on Grass

Or perhaps on some mulch.  Preferably fresh mulch with that heavy forest scent that I love.  I just like the way the dump sounds when it hits the earth.  I don’t like the way my dump sounds when it lands … Continue reading

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It’s a CELEBRATION Bitches!!!

I got my double beer helmet, my beer bong, my bong bong, my money boxers, pocket full ‘o Magnums, rohypnol, “Who Farted?” t-shirt, and you fucking well know I pre-gamed!  Wait, what the fuck are we celebrating?  I’ll tell you … Continue reading

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Movie Review: “Soul Surfer” Gets 4 1/2 Stars

Out of 100,000,000 stars.  The absolute worst movies get 1 star.  The best movies get 100,000,000 stars.  I give this movie 4 1/2 stars. I guess I’m not the target audience.  I’m not sure who is the target audience–maybe really, … Continue reading

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China, Fucking Step Your Game Up

One of the hot news items of the day is the huge bench clearing brawl that the Georgetown Hoyas got into yesterday with the Bayi Rockets in China.  The Rockets are a professional basketball team in China.  The Hoyas are on … Continue reading

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Be Very Careful if Going to Watch the Conan The Barbarian Remake

If you are headed to the theatre this weekend to watch this coathanger abortion of a remake of the classic Arnold-led Conan The Barbarian, you need to be prepared for the possibility that something really horrible is going to befall … Continue reading

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Don’t Sleep On Vietnam

As previously noted, I’m kind of a big deal in Slovenia.  Apparently the Vietnamese read about this, and they are fucking PISSED.  Since my glowing report on Slovenia and the copious amount of fucking ass they kick in every which way but … Continue reading

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